There is a central motivation to all of our actions and thoughts. It is not a "motivation" in the traditional sense. Not a personal desire. Nor is it a goal spoken or deeply held. It is rather the physical center of our lives. Everything that we do, everything that we think, our attitudes, feelings, beliefs all are over-shadowed, shaded with the all-encompassing color of this single element. As individuals we interpret it differently. Even though it lies deep in the very center of the deepest place in our unconscious mind we are very much aware of it. We wonder with every conversation, every dream in the night, every public experience whether or not it has exposed itself and betrayed us to our fellows. When we set our feet upon a direction, our course is subtlety guided by the curvature of the landscape of our reality. That curvature is so slight that we feel it not, yet we end up back where we started nonetheless because of it. And we wonder why. Every word spoken is a lie, the nervous and false conversation of those who are trying with all of their might to avoid mentioning the obvious. Every action is false, our efforts, our goals no matter what we state them to be, no matter how deeply we prove our commitment, belief or the reality of that which we claim to others to be our purpose, are in reality intended to deal with, escape, or embrace the vast, invisible center of our existence. It is our silent master. "The fundamental center of all that we do, the stone at the bottom of our personal gravity well is the fear that we feel as children" Those where the words that I spoke that inspired this posting. by the way, it doesn't matter whether or not you read this, that no one ever visits this page makes little difference. One hundred bungee jumps, a thousand lives risked biking down a hill or flying along the road at 200mph is meaningless and makes no difference. That single solitary fear will continue to be the center of your existence. Thought you die a hero your heart will be heaver that a feather, and Ma-at will not pass you to the afterlife. The reality is that you are and will continue to be a child hiding in the dark corner of your mind hoping to remain unseen, afraid.

Modern psychology seeks to establish a base line set of rules that apply to all individuals. There are two fundamental problems with that idea. First, the "rules" of psychology change and are not fixed across all individuals. What for one is a psycotic break is, under other circumstances or for another individual, a religious experience. Whole cultures have been destroyed because of "western chemo-centrism" that prevailed during the majority of the 20th century and psychologists that believed that the elements of their cultural ethic or religion represented abnormal psycology when seen in the light of modern society. Psychology isn't different from on individual to another, the rules, the structure itself is different. Its not one kind of music compaired to another, its music compaired to accounting. Secondly, reality is mutable. No matter how solid and unchanging physical reality may seem it isn't. We as individuals affect the reality that we experience, self-fullfilling prophecy. No matter what mechinism that you are willing to allow for this process the effect is the same. With all the new discoveries in the realms of quantum physics the assertion that reality is a fixed and immutable phenomenom is becoming less and less credible. Thought is not, as current held, a symtomatic by-product of brain function. Brain function is a by-product of thought. "You" and "I" are not just another factory model human, one each. We just look alike.

"Most men would rather die than think, and many do"

"Language is a virus"

"The vast majority of all communication is either exaggeration, obfuscation or redundant"

"Consciousness, a quality which only about 6% of the human race possesses, leads to either crime, greatness or insanity"

"Civilization is an excuse to stay busy while we figure out what to do"

"Maturity is not a function of years, the only thing that comes with years is age"